By Zach Mentz
(A bit of a 'spoof' story I wrote for my senior column in my high school newspaper. A little less serious than my usual stories! Thought I would mix it up!)
What is a manleader? What is a Fairport Manleader? What does it all mean? Manleading, as defined by Websters Dictionary: Bro Edition is “the act of performing and entertaining crowds with stunning movements and elegant grace in order to excite high school student bodies all over the world.” Manleading was also defined by Rochesters own Democrat and Chronicle as “a group of boys who pump up the student body at pep rallies and games.” In a nutshell, yes, that is what the Fairport Manleaders do.
Manleading was invented at the fine institution of Fairport High School only a few years ago. Being a Fairport Manleader is something that is respected around the globe. For instance, while on a cross country trip to the state of Washington, I ran in to Bill Gates at one of the twenty thousand Starbucks in the Seattle area and he said “It’s an honor to meet you, bro.” He gave me a bro hug and slapped me up before we parted ways, but like I said before, being a Fairport Manleader isn’t just a persona I put on, it’s a lifestyle.
Anyways, back to my story. Let me explain to you what it takes to be a Fairport Manleader. First off, everyone wants to be one, whether they admit it or not. Secondly, being a Fairport Manleader isn’t just a stroll in the park. It requires hard work, dedication, enthusiasm, and a true bro spirit. Practices during the week can run pretty late, as some nights we were even practicing until past ten o’clock at night. One night, I even skipped my own court hearing just to go to practice. (I am being sued by
Being a Fairport Manleader is an honor. I was asked by team co-captain Terry O’Neill back in September of 2009. As soon as he asked me, it was like Taylor Swift asking you to marry her; of course you are going to say yes! The Fairport Manleaders performed at the homecoming pep rally earlier in the school year, at the staff basketball game, and most recently at the Brotherhood-Sisterhood week assembly. “Each performance was a perfect display of elegance” said history teacher Kevin “Cash Money” Sax.
After our most recent performance at the Brotherhood-Sisterhood week assembly, Principal Chris “Sweet Feet” Salinas said “It brings a tear to my eye every time I watch the manleaders do their thang’. They truly are the most talented group of performers the world has ever seen.”
Due to our notorious popularity and dedicated fan base, videos of our performances have even been posted on Youtube.com. We have been asked to perform in numerous Las Vegas casinos and we have even been asked to replace the Blue Man Group performance on the senior trip to Boston, but unfortunately we have had to decline offer after offer due to contract disputes.
All in all, being a Fairport Manleader is serious business. Manleading is not just for any average joe. Being a manleader is a lifestyle that you have to live by day in and day out. Their was an emptiness in my heart before I was a Fairport Manleader, and ever since I joined the squad, that emptiness has been filled. Being a Fairport Manleader is something I know I was born to do, and without Fairport Manleading, who knows where my life would be.
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